Month: October 2013

Gareth joined by his two brothers Towel and Hay began filming the instant they landed at Heathrow; security was tight as holiday makers and press swarmed round the trio as they demolished the ‘golden triangle’ of McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. Onlookers gasped in amazement at terminal 1 as Gareth come out on top, narrowly edging Towel on the final cheeseburger, in an out of breath and very brief victory speech the ex Real Madrid star gave a glimpse into why he left
“I got sick of the food, the diets, the lifestyle, there’s absolutely no pubs either, the place is totally outrageous boyo”

UK Prime minister David Cameron went on to outline plans for the future “If my American cousins will forgive me I don’t see this as a huge stride at all, this is a small step down a long path, my concerns deepen with every young citizen forced into Ecstasy use by listening to Techno or Hard house, or worse Crack Cocaine and Heroin by listening to that twat Pete Doherty, who I’m led to believe is now sidestepping the ban by forming experimental percussion group Bongo-shambles”