Researchers at the Glasgow based Royal Super Lager University concluded that anywhere between 100-200 hours of intense instagram usage is between 2-10 times more powerful than a normal acid trip. When presenting their findings the RSLU produced a series of slides, most poignant of which was a before and after shot of a domestic house cat, professors at the RSLU stated this was the closest visual representation to the damage they could muster.
One of the hardest hit was 34 year old ‘professional photographer’ Lee Howton, when presenting evidence against Instagram Mr Howton broke down into tears after mistaking a picture of his own mother for a fruit bowl, Mr Howton committed suicide later that evening.
During post-mortem it came to light that the photo of Mrs Howton was taken at the Copacabana festival on headdress night, police later concluded that the links were bogus and that the RSLU had been targeting Instagram hipsters as they were ‘gullible and easily talked into thinking anything‘ when pressed on the specific suicide incident further, PC William Chang attributed it to Instagram users being ‘overly dramatic twats‘ the RSLU strongly refute these claims and the matter is once again likely to return to court.
