Sweary Solomons Super Hot Investment Tips! Contrarian Investing.
Sir, Respectfully, best wishes and I hope this shit finds you well.
People say to me “Solomon, you have so much money, and the nicest things, how do you afford them?” and I always tell them gods truth “Advance fee (419) fraud, low budget adult movies and contrarian fucking investing” and always they say “But Solomon what IS a contrarian investing ting ting?“
It’s when you go against the general consensus with your money, allow me to explain…
You see a somone in a “GEEK*” shirt, they must be well educated you say to yourself, many others follow this shirt, I would do well to put my money behind them, this is a good investment.
NO!
When someone advertises they’re a geek by the form of a wanky shirt bought off a market stall, you should know this indicates 2 things, 1.) they’re not a geek, and more importantly beyond this 2.) they’re as thick as driven shit, this is the ultimate example of a contrarian indicator! Now I hear you saying it “But Solomon! They’re wearing thick black rimmed glasses too, why would they do that if they weren’t the deal deal!?” Unfortunately the market has changed, in the 80s this dress sense would cause you to be beaten up and have no real friends, unfortunately these days only the latter is applicable, SELL!
Now let’s look at the flip side of the coin, “LOL” is viewed by many as childish and unacceptable, but what are the alternatives in internet speech? “Hehe”? “Haha”? Both come across as inefficient and condescending, yet people still are against “LOL” I’m backing the original and best to come fiercely back into fashion, BUY!
This is once again against the grain and another fabulous example of a contrarian indicator, but what about some other popular internet phrases? Here are my predictions on when they’ll buck their associated trends…
- LMAO – 15 months
- ROFFLE – 2 years
- ROFFLECOPTER / ROFL COPTER – 2 years
- NOM NOM NOM – this is NEVER acceptable, those who use this phrase should be forced to consume whatever it is they refer to until they die a slow and painful death.
*This of course applies to not only “GEEK” but “DORK” and “NERD” amongst others, you should avoid these people as they’re likely to anger god and or the lord jesus, and or jebus.
Stay tuned for my super fucking hot investment tips.
Yours in faith, respectfully, Solomon.
@MilkmanHero
