Fury as police investigation reveals 142% of Wetherspoon app orders spat in.
The ‘Spoons app, a popular choice for under 25’s, the lazy, or both, allows the full gamut of the Wetherspoons menu to be delivered to […]
Long standing “Mummyjacking” world record finally broken.
it took a mammoth 12 minutes and 27 seconds before another parent commented and shifted the focus onto their child Harry, smashing the previous record by 36 seconds.
BBC announces new flagship channel “BBC nonce”
The channel aims to celebrate the BBC’s long history of sex offenders and will be showing Jim’ll fix it, Top of the pops, Rolf Harris Cartoon Time, Animal Hospital and Jackanory back to back for the launch weekend
Skegness set to become European cannabis capital by 2027
Lincolnshire seaside town Skegness looks set to win 2027 plaudits as both clientèle and sales soar into record highs.
All negative UK news in the next decade to be rebutted with “DON’T BLAME ME, I VOTED…”
Years upon years of torturous finger pointing ensues as of Friday in what may prove to be the worlds biggest echo chamber of futile shit on record…
United Kingdom switches from printing money to printing people.
Not content with enriching the top 0.01% via money printing the UK government has taken the radical step of beginning to cut into the 99.9% by simply printing people.
The move known internally as “Operation Mâché” was originally thought to be a children’s play scheme until a wikileaks cable exposed the short term plan to replace a third of active emergency services staff with cardboard cutouts. Plans were actioned over Christmas with less than subtle replacements strategically timed when most were simply too drunk to notice.
The Amiga was 30 and you didn’t even get it a card. #amigagamesrememberedwrong
A couple of days ago to celebrate the mighty Amigas 30th we honoured it with #amigagamesrememberedwrong on twitter, this is what happened.
New build council homes to be equipped with anti-drone SAM launchers.
Shares in Lockheed Martin spiked today as the announcement of a new range of mini Surface to Air Missile (SAM) launchers were unveiled to wowed investors in Knightsbridge.
Monsanta patents Christmas trees
Ho-ho-holy crap you better get your wallet ready, as of 2015 Monsanta the Christmas enforcement wing of the worlds largest crop giant has secured patents […]
Food industry slumps as under 25s shun meals for cannabis and energy drinks.
Pot Noodles, Beans on Toast and Spaghetti Bolognase recently hit all time highs well above the £1 comfort zone, whilst the usual despair pits of McDonalds and Greggs become nostalgic affordability dreams of the past