Gareth joined by his two brothers Towel and Hay began filming the instant they landed at Heathrow; security was tight as holiday makers and press swarmed round the trio as they demolished the ‘golden triangle’ of McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. Onlookers gasped in amazement at terminal 1 as Gareth come out on top, narrowly edging Towel on the final cheeseburger, in an out of breath and very brief victory speech the ex Real Madrid star gave a glimpse into why he left
“I got sick of the food, the diets, the lifestyle, there’s absolutely no pubs either, the place is totally outrageous boyo”
Unfortunately after the contracts had been signed it transpired that Bale didn’t realise there was more to Italy than the 100 yards surrounding the stadium and training ground.
American tourist Mary Anderson witnessed the Heathrow carnage first hand “At first I didn’t know what was going on, I thought some chimps had got outta the zoo you know, anyway I’d seen the show before back home, but I had no idea that this was coming to the United Kingdom, I didn’t even realise you guys had McDonalds over here”
Despite the dramatic career switch and progressive weight gain David Moyes is still keen to sign the enigmatic Welshman “we gave him a quick trial after 3 shows to see if he fitted in with the Man Utd vision, I had a lengthy chat with him in the oxygen tent and liked what I saw, he assured me that he was in it for the football and it had nothing to do with the restaurant chain he had just bought out in desperate need of investment, hell he even smoked the same cigarettes as I do” Interesting times ahead then, Bale is contracted for 2 series’ at 6 episodes each, series 1 premieres on Sky 1 over Christmas.
@MilkmanHero
